Is What You’re Saying Listenable?

We’ve all had those experiences where someone starts talking to us and we aren’t quite tuned in. The person is well into their story when we have to stop them and ask them to start over … from the beginning. A listener has to be ready before they can hear what you have to say.…

Say the Right Thing … When Listening to Someone

  Most of us truly believe we’re good listeners. We smile, we nod in agreement, we’re supportive. But are we truly setting aside judgment—striving to understand? And how well do we respond? Because it’s the response—the feedback—that signals we’ve heard the message as intended. Listening well and responding appropriately takes a fair amount of self-control.…

Where Has the Finesse Gone?

  “I tell it like it is.” “I’m a straight shooter.” As a culture, we value honesty. We want people to be straight with us. We even ask people to stop beating around the bush.  But the more we hear these pronouncements, the less they seem to be about a desire for honesty and the…

How to Stay Assertive Around Intimidating People

  Assertive people stand up for themselves in an honest, respectful way. But you’re not alone if your assertiveness fades around certain types of people—authority figures, aggressive types, very outgoing personalities—people who intimidate you in some way. But “intimidation, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder,” suggests Diann Winger, LCSW. And, although the…